Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Tigers are following me. No, I'm not making this up. Point A: am currently reading The Tiger's Wife by Ms Obrecht. Point B: My sister took it upon herself to knit a tiger tea cosy, which looks awesome BTW, and then I'd like to refer to Point C that occurred today.

Readers should know that I foolishly attempted a bit of an epic bike ride, well epic for my unfit self (I've gone soft since moving up North). I had collapsed on a bench at the side of the cycle track, counting stars and thankful that I was wearing factor 30 sunscreen as the sun was belting it down. I was slowly sliding down the bench into the cool shade of the grass when a bloke supervising around six boys (hard to confirm as they kept moving), all of which were on bikes, then preceded to take over the other side of the bench. I may have groaned out loud but this cannot be proved.

I'm ashamed to say I was still in a condition where moving was not an option so I gritted my teeth, determined to stick it out as they slurped on cartons of fruit juice. A boy hovered near me, sucking away, getting closer and closer until he stopped just in front of me. I looked up. Our eyes connected. He had a naughty look and I knew he was thinking of something to say. Something outlandish.

'We cycled fifty miles today,' he said.

'Fifty? Wow, more than me,' I said, hoping he would go away. He looked sticky.

'Yeah, and there were tigers,' he said.

'Tigers?' I said.

'Yeah, they were hiding in the grass waiting for us to stop so they could eat us,' he said.

'I don't think there are wild tigers around here,' I said.

'Yeah there are. They escaped from a zoo and bred and now they live here,' he said.

'Ok...' I said.

'Sorry,' said the man. 'We're reading the Jungle Book at the moment and he's a bit obsessed with Shere Khan.'

The boy nodded his head. I was impressed they were reading the book together. It's such a great way to get kids' imaginations going by reading stories with them and making up elaborate extra plots when the pages are closed. Screw the X-Box, let's go tiger hunting in Salford. What kid would say no to that?

I didn't see any tigers on the way home though and yes, I'm a bit disappointed.


  1. This happened to my friend yknow...we made up a joke about her having a tiger fetish and before we knew they were everywhere. On jumpers, baby cutlery, signs on streets, labels, flyers, everywhere.

  2. It's popular theme that never seems to go out of fashion!